Everything that’s “wrong” with me…

  • I eat toast in bed. Crumbs.
  • I plan to outlaw Brussel sprouts and spitting on the pavement.
  • I may possibly be slightly intolerant… *cough*
  • I believe that wearing jogging bottoms outside of exercise or the house is a sign of evil.
  • I don’t give a shit about yogurt or kombucha. Whatever kombucha is.
  • But I think kefir is perfectly acceptable. Which is weird given my pov on yogurt.
  • I like arguing about art and politics. Even if I agree with you.
  • I’m either so over-enthusiastic I need to be kept on a short leash and muzzled, or so apathetic you have to check for a pulse. Rarely anything in between.
  • I’m really fat. This probably bothers you more than it bothers me.
  • I swear all-the-fucking-time. Even around your children.
  • Achalasia.
  • I have the sense of humour of a nine year old public school boy.
  • Sometimes it’s a struggle to tell the difference between my sarcasm and my sincerity.
  • I leave wet towels on the carpet.
  • I spend everything I earn.
  • Snore like a trooper, especially after wine.
  • I use the word awesome. All the time. Which is awesome.
  • Coffee / beer / gin snob.
  • I have no idea what I’m doing.
  • I really like making lists. 😉

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