A masked Greek chorus rush onto the stage. The following is split between individual voices and the whole chorus.

 

Chorus:

Buttery

Flaky

Viennoise pastry

Cresent like the moon

Layered yeast-leven dough

Calorific lamination

Roll and fold

Roll and fold

Aux raisin

Au chocolate

Behold La pain

All hail the croissant

Fantasy bread

Breakfast of dreams

Le Pain of Parting!

Such love

For puffed up pastry

Dipped in coffee

Dipped in coffee

Toffee coloured delight

Viennese birth right

Culinary legend

Descended from dense kipferl

 

Enter Marie Antoinette.

 

Marie:

The romance of the dough

18th century queen am I

The Archduchess of Austria

Stuffed with Royal Dinners

Like a Poulet stuffed with apricots

I shall not to eat at at the king’s table

Only sneak away

To eat and drink the sweets and coffee of home

Oh, ugly kipferls

How the tongue of the court contorts you

To the “croissant”

And before they take my head

The fashion shall take my pastry

High society France

Reserved this pastry for ourself

Cover in preserves this pasty

To seal the sweetness

As destiny seals my fate

 

Exit Marie Antoinette.

 

Chorus:

But as the revolution presides

And heads will roll

As breads will roll

No longer the breakfast of the upper classes

But food for the starving masses

Expensive, yes

But of how tasty

This god

This deity

Of flaky pastry

Croissants for all

Viva la croissant

 

The Chorus throw out croissants into the audience, showering them in crumbs.

The Chorus eat croissants themselves, writhing on the floor as they push croissants through their masks. The produce flasks of coffee and proceed to pour the drink over themselves and each other, massaging in the flakes and the foam.

With one might bacchanalian groan, the Chorus, fall to the floor as one.

 

Blackout.