Story on a train 1: Lamia

The man opposite was largely indifferent to her ample charms. This was rather annoying, as she was pretty sure she was more interesting than the Sudoku in the blasted paper. She licked her lips, pouting out the window at the grey sky and Battersea Dog’s Home as it flew past. That stench. It followed her….

Train Story 3: tuna

Tuna was the dominant smell. The whole carriage was high with the stench. People were screaming, laughing, screwing, fighting. I had thought many thing about the end of the world; I had expected human degradation and desperation; but never the smell of tuna. Overwrought I struggled out of my seat and down the seething aisle….

Just Desserts

You’re fat, he said. What? she said. Fat, he said. So? she said. He hesitated. I don’t love you any more, he said. You are not just fat; you were fat when I married you. You are now grotesque. She looked at him. What should she do? Cry? Beg? Rail at the unfairness of it…

Wedding Cake

Recipe 1) Place two people in a party or slightly warmed small room. Leave to infuse. Mix in mutual acquaintances and generous amounts if alcohol. Simmer. Exchange telephone numbers and transfer to taxi. Leave to stand for 3 – 5 days.   2) Now combine the jitters with even more drink. Mixture may look like separating…