We need to talk. It’s not me, it’s you. Definitely 100% you. You’ve behaved disgracefully, if we’re honest. You’ve treated me like a page-a-day calendar. I’ve basically been thoroughly disposable. Out of sight, out of mind. You keep year-splaining to my friends, making excuses for terrible decisions and errors in judgement. You promised you were in this for the long haul, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year; but if we’re honest here, and I really feel at this point we have to be, you’ve totally dropped the ball on the most important days this year. Where were you when I needed you, 2016? Totally no where to be seen. And every time I thought we we’re ‘working through the issues’, you’d have another ‘off’ day, and we we’re back in the dark ages.

And, another thing: why is it you hate all the celebrities I have even the vaguest admiration for?

So, 2016, I’ve been thinking. I’ve come to a decision. We’ve given it a real go. Twelve months is really respectable, no one could say we didn’t try. At times, we even gave it real welly. There was even the odd glorious, carefree day. It’s obviously not all been bad. But I’ve had enough. I’m calling time. I would be grateful if you could get your things and clear out by the end of the month. I said now go, walk out that door; don’t turn around now. You’re not welcome anymore. I will always remember you, maybe even fondly eventually. Now, however, I can’t even look at you without feeling a bit sick. Maybe use the time left to think about what you’ve done and how we got here. You know, just so we don’t make the same mistakes. So… yeah…