#28PlaysLater 2019 | Just Falafs | Day 18


A kebab shop.

AYKAN, a large man in a stained white vest and a hairnet, is being bent over a smoking grill by JJ, a teenager in a shell suit. JJ is trying to push AYKAN’s face on to the grill. AYKAN is pushing back but barely keeping his face off the plate.

AYKAN: Get your filthy hands off me, JJ, the falafel is burning and after what your ferret did to the doctor, I think you have a lot of explaining to do!

JJ: No.

AYKAN: Don’t kill me and I won’t tell anyone.

JJ: No. You’re lying to me again.

AYKAN: JJ. Would I lie to you?

JJ: Yes.

AYKAN: When?

JJ: You told me donor was vegan.

AYKAN: A joke.
JJ: And that it wasn’t meth. You said it definitely wasn’t meth.

AYKAN: I was definite it wasn’t meth.

JJ: So what did you think the doctor was cooking in the back the whole time?

AYKAN: I didn’t ask questions.

JJ: My brother is dead cos of you.

AYKAN: The doctor is dead cos of you. And a ferret.

JJ let’s go of AYKAN. AYKAN straightens up, wiping his face on his vest. JJ punches a wall.

AYLAN: Shit. The falafel.

AYKAN turns to the grill. He scopes off a dozen black balls. One of them rolls off his spatula and onto the floor next to where JJ is standing. JJ looks down at it.

AYKAN: Bums.

JJ: It’s just falafel.

AYKAN: Just falafel. Just falafel he says.

JJ: Yeah. So?

AYKAN: It was for the ferret.

JJ: Oh.

AYKAN: Yes, oh.

JJ: Can you make more?

AYKAN: No more til Monday.

JJ: Shit.

AYKAN: Yes. Shit.

JJ slides down the wall and sits with his head in his hands.

JJ: This is all so fucked.

AYKAN: Now you realise? Now the boy thinks we’re fucked.

JJ: We never should have fed the bodies to the ferret.

AYKAN: We? We?! Your ferret ate the doctor. The doctor was full of whatever the fuck it was that he manufactured back there. Then the ferret ate your brother. Your ferret. Not mine.

JJ: We was just trying to scare the doctor off the estate.

AYKAN: And you succeeded. Unless you could being shit out of a drugged up ferret with a taste for human flesh.

AYKAN pulls a small stool out from behind the counter he places it next to JJ. AYKAN sits down, wiping his face on his apron.

AYKAN: This is where mob justice gets you.


AYKAN: We must end the ferret.

AYKAN stand up. He walks to the donor meat machine. He pulls out the massive skewer. He puts the skewer on his shoulder and exits of tge back of the shop.


AYKAN enters with the skewer over his shoulder. It now has a ferret jammed on it.

JJ: What you do?

AYKAN: I killed the ferret. It’s over.


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