#28PlaysLater 2019 | Balancing Onions (in a Bowl) | Day 25

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A food stylist who is so passionate about food she kills the client on a commercial shoot. The producer, runner and someone from the ad agency then have to decide what to do given a famous person is turning up in 5.

 

Characters.

 

Sasha – the client

Justine – the food stylist

Jimmy – the runner

Erika – the producer

Shay – the art director

Ama – the agency

Reggie Greene – the star

 

Scene.

 

A studio space. A white, wood and stainless steel kitchen sits in the centre. The shelves and surfaces are carefully dressed with fresh fruit and vegetables.

 

Justine is standing at the counter cutting a pepper with a large knife. Sasha walks in.

 

Sasha: No, No, No. What’s this?

 

Justin stops cutting.

 

Justine: What’s what?

Sasha: This.

 

Sasha points at some onions balanced in a bowl.

 

Justine: Onions.

Sasha: And?

Justine: A bowl?

Sasha: Exactly. Who has onions balanced in a bowl?

Justine: I do.

Sasha: Yes, Justine, but your a food stylist. You probably have all your spices in ramekins and spaghetti in jars.

Justine: Well, yes.

Sasha: But it’s not normal.

Justine: Nothing about this shoot is normal.

Sasha: It’s all perfectly normal.

Justine: You have Reggie Greene, that woman from that girl group and an Olympic gymnast cooking food. They don’t eat food. I’ve seen them spit out in a napkin.

Sasha: They are all normal people. That’s why we are working with them.

 

Sasha walks up to Justine behind the counter.

 

Sasha: Reggie Greene will be here any minute. What are you doing?

Justine: Julienne’ing a pepper.

Sasha: This just isn’t good enough, Justine.

Justine: Sure.

Sasha: Like, I mean, it’s crap. You’ve ruined the whole shoot.

 

Suddenly, Justine turns to Sasha and stabs her in the face with her knife.

 

Erika: Sasha, just to let you know Reggie’s car has- Where’s Sasha?

 

Justine points down.

 

Erika: Oh fuck. (Shouts) Ama, can I borrow you for a sec?

 

Ama and Shay enter.

 

Ama: What’s up?

Erika: Small problem.

 

Erika steps aside. Ama walks round the counter.

 

Pause.

 

Ama: You killed my client.

Justine: She just ran into my knife.

Ama: With her face?

Justine: She’s not that tall.

Ama: Not again. This is the third client I’ve lost onsite this year. I’ll get a rep.

Erika: This is a disaster. It’s going to set us back at least half an hour.

 

Jimmy enters.

 

Jimmy: Sorry, Erika, Mr Greene is downstairs waiting to come up.

Erika: Shut up Jimmy. Go, check on the talent.

 

Jimmy exits.

 

Ama: So what are our options?

Erika: We could shoot round her?

Ama: Yes except that talent would have to stand on her to get to the hob.

Shay: How about we dress her with some fennel? Maybe a table cloth?

Ama: Yeah, good Shay. No one will notice that.

Shay: Just bouncing ideas around.

Ama: Erika, do we have a fridge? Or a really large cupboard?

Justine: There’s loads of room under the counter.

Shay: But it’s not long enough.

Erika: We should really call the Police.

Ama: But it will set back the shoot.

Erika: True.

Ama: We’ll have to fold Sasha up and put her in the cupboard.

Shay: Right.

Erika (to Justine): We’ll deal with you later.

 

Everyone proceeds to fold up Sasha’s body and stuff it in the cupboard under the counter.

 

Jimmy enters.

 

Jimmy: Really sorry Erika, he wouldn’t wait.

 

Reggie Greene enters. Erika, Shay, Justine and Ama all heave themselves up to the surface.

 

Reggie: I’ve arrived.

Erika: Hey Reggie.

Reggie: How is it going? Any problems?

Erika: No, none at all.

 

Blackout.

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