Characters.

 

Anton Yegon

Irina Yegon

Judge

Kangaroo 1

Kangaroo 2

 

Scene 1.

 

Anton Yegon is sitting at a small table drinking a small cup of coffee. Opposite him, his wife Irina is sitting opposite him eating a bowl of semolina porridge. She is heavily pregnant.

 

Anton: And you know what they said, Irina?

 

Irina shakes her head, mouth fill of porridge. She dabs at her mouth with a napkin.

 

Anton: They said, I wasn’t a true comrade. I. Anton Yegon.

Irina: Despicable.

Anton: The man who erected the sculpture in the public square with his own bare hands. The man who hauled the stone for the bridge and heaved the town hall into being.

Irina: You must calm down, Anton. Your heart.

Anton: My heart is broken, Irina. The party has split it like marble dropped from a donkey cart.

 

Irina laughs and stands up. She sits on Anton’s lap.

 

Irina: Now you must not upset yourself so. The baby, Anton.

 

She puts his hand on her belly.

 

Anton: You must regret marrying me everyday.

Irina: No.

Anton: Leaving your family full of academics and money to marry a man who hefts stone for a living.

Irina: I married a man of principle who works hard to provide for his family.

Anton: [Hmpf.]

 

Irina kisses him on the forehead.

Irina: Do you have work today?

Anton: I have work everyday.

Irina: You hero.

 

Irina stands up and begins to clear the table.

 

Anton: What will you do?

Irina: Same thing I do everyday, sit here decorously waiting for a great bear of a husband to come home to me.

Anton: Don’t you get bored?

Irina: Bored? No.

Anton: But your writing?

Irina: You know that party doesn’t like women writing. It tires out our reproductive systems.

Anton: Oh well then, we must have you writing.

 

Irina laughs.

 

Anton: But in all seriousness.

Irina: I do write. I have a diary. It fills up faster than I can tell you Anton.

Anton: Am I in it?

Irina: When you aren’t an unutterable prigg.

Anton: So all the time then?

 

Irina laughs again.

The doorbell rings.

 

Irina: Were you expecting company?

Anton: It will be that old bat Vasiliev from downstairs. We’re probably thinking too loudly.

 

Anton heaves himself up off the chair and walks to the door. He loops through to spy hole.

 

Anton: There’s no one there.

Irina: Just kids.

 

Anton opens the door. He looks out, up and down the hallway. He turns back to Irina.

 

Anton: Noth-

 

Anton is interrupted as he is struck down by a Kangaroo and pinned to the floor. Another one barges into the room and kicks him repeatedly.

Irina steps forward but the first Kangaroo growls at her menacingly. She steps back.

The second Kangaroo finishes kicking Anton. The two Kangaroos haul up Anton between them, and drag him from the room, kick the front door close behind them.

 

Silence.

 

Irina gives a silent cry as she crumples slowly to the floor, clutching her belly.

 

Blackout.

 

Scene 2.

 

A harsh spotlight on Anton, who is tied to a chair. His vest is covered in blood. He flinches as the light hits his vision.

 

Anton: Where am I?

Judge: In a court of your peers and comrades.

Anton: Why?

Judge:: For crimes against the party.

Anton: What crimes?

Judge: That is for you to tell us, Anton Orlov.

 

Light up on the judge, sitting behind a high dias.

Two Kangaroos step forward standing either side of Anton..

 

Judge: Admit you are an enemy of the party Anton Orlov.

Anton: I am the man who put up the statue in the public square.

 

A Kangaroo kicks Anton.

 

Judge: Admit you are an enemy of the party Anton Orlov.

Anton: I haul the stone for the new party headquarters.

 

A Kangaroo kicks Anton.

 

Judge: Admit you are an enemy of the party Anton Orlov.

Anton: I dragged the limestone for the new town hall.

 

A Kangaroo kicks Anton.

 

Judge: Admit you are an enemy of the party Anton Orlov.

Anton: I –

 

A Kangaroo kicks Anton.

Anton coughs and spits blood.

 

Judge: Admit you are an enemy of the party Anton Orlov.

Anton: No. I am-

 

A Kangaroo kicks Anton.

 

Judge: Admit you are an enemy of the party Anton Orlov.

Anton: N-

 

A Kangaroo kicks Anton.

 

Judge: Admit you are an enemy of the party Anton Orlov.

 

Anton is silent.

A Kangaroo kicks Anton.

 

Judge: Admit you are an enemy of-

Irina [off]: Stop!

 

Irina steps into the light dressed as a Kangaroo.

 

Judge: Who are you?

Irina: The defendant’s attorney.

Judge: We don’t have attorneys. Do we?

 

The Kangaroos shake their heads.

 

Irina: What kind of court has a prosecutor but no defence.

Judge: This kind of court.

Irina: Well, this isn’t much of a court is it, your honor? I mean, a man of your mighty standing, should really have a full and proper proceeding to rule over.

Judge: Well-

Irina: After all, one so high as you shouldn’t be settling petty squabbles between neighbours, should you?

Judge: Petty squabbles?

Irina: Can I ask, on behalf of my client, who has bought charges against Anton Orlov?

Judge: Well, this is most irregular-

Irina: Well you are a very powerful man. You can make it regular.

Judge: I can, can’t I? How novel.

Irina: The accuser, your honour?

Judge: One Madame Vasiliev.

Irina: And the charge?

Judge: Let me see… anti-party activity – disrupting the thought of comrades – by eating eggs too loudly.

Irina: I beg your pardon, your honour?

Judge: This Vasiliev illedges that Anton Orlov is eating eggs too loudly.

Irina: And does that make Anton Orlov an enemy of the party?

Judge: Was the egg an enemy of the party?

Irina: No, your honour.

Judge: Was he dipping toasted bread or butter bread in the yolk?

Irina: I hardly see-

Judge: Answer the question please.

Irina: Toasted.

Judge: Hmmm. Butter would maybe question whether or not he was a true comrade, but toasted bread seems harmless.

 

Pause.

 

Judge: I declare Anton Orlov not guilty.

 

The Kangaroos hand their heads in disappointment. They slope off.

Irina rushes to Anton and unties him.

The Judge climbs down off his dias, pulls a bottle of vodka from his robes. He pops it open using the edge of the dias and staggers off.

Irina finishes freeing Anton. He fall forward barely conscious.

 

Irina: Anton? Anton? It’s over.

 

Anton groans.

Irina slaps him.

Anton comes round.

 

Anton: Irina?

Irina: Shhhhh, they think I’m one of them. You know, the party men.

Anton: And you’re safe?

Irina: Yes, yes. We;re both safe.

 

Anton realises they are on their own, looking round and blinking.

 

Anton: You did this?

Irina: Yes. You’re clever wife did all this.

Anton: My brilliant wife, indeed.

 

Anton hugs Irina.

The sounds of a baby crying.

Anton pushes Irina to arms length. He looks from her face to her belly.

 

Anton: You-

 

Irina smiles. She fishes in her pouch and pull out their new born baby. She places the baby in Anton’s arms.

 

Irina: You’re a father now.

 

Anton laughs.

Anton: I’m a papa, Irina.

 

Anton holds the baby up and dances around. He stops suddenly.

 

Anton: You’re a mamma.

 

Irina smiles.

Anton grabs Irina and with the baby still in his arms, he swings them all around, laughing.

 

The spotlight expands to fill the space revealing rank on rank of Kangaroos, all watching the couple and their newborn.

 

Blackout.

 

.