#29PlaysLater Brief 9 | Brexit for Kids

blue and yellow round star print textile
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Characters

 

Polly

Olly

Wally

Molly

Sully

Adult voice [off stage]

 

How it all began.

 

A bouncy castle. Daytime. Polly, Olly, Wally, and Sully are all bouncing on the castle together.

 

Polly: I love bouncing.

Olly: I love bouncing the bestest.

Wally: I love bouncing this much.

Molly: I love bouncing more than unicorns.

Sully: I love bouncing to the moon and back. Watch me bounce.

 

Sully jumps really high. Everyone else falls over.

 

Olly: Sully. Not fair. The higher you bounce the harder it is for me to bounce.

 

Sully jumps high again.

 

Sully: Wheeeeeeeeee. Bouncing. Bouncing.

 

Olly, Polly, Molly and Wally all try to stand up. They all for all over again.

 

Molly: Ouch. I want to stop bouncing.

Wally: No, we should keep bouncing. If we all bounce together, we will be fine.

 

Wally stands up and starts bouncing the same time as Sully.

 

Wally: See? Look at me!

 

Olly manages to get to his feet.

 

Olly: I don’t like it that we have to bounce like Sully. Sully sucks. I liked bouncing before Sully arrived.

Polly: You arrived at the same time.

Olly: That’s not the point. Sully is not my friend.

Polly: He is our friend. He’s been our friends for years and years and years.

Wally: Yeah. Like since we we’re 5.

Molly: That’s ages.

Olly: Well, I’ve been your friend since we were 4 years and eleventeen months.

Molly: That is a long time, even longer than ages.

Olly: As king of the bouncy castle, I think we should vote if Sully can stay on the castle.

Sully: Who made you king?

Olly: My dad. He tells me I am the king.

Polly: You’re dad smells.

Olly: So does your mum.

Wally: Friends don’t argue. That’s what we got told at school.

Molly: Handshake.

 

Polly and Olly grudgingly shake hands. Both wipe their hands on their clothes.

 

Wally: So now let’s bounce.

 

Wally and Sully start bouncing again.

 

Olly: Stop.

 

Wally and Sully stop bouncing.

 

The vote.

 

Olly: We still need to vote.

Molly: Oooooo, I like voting.

Olly: Then let’s do this.

Polly: What are we voting on, Olly?

Olly: Sully.

Wally: What about Sully?

Olly: Just Sully. We can sort everything else out after we vote.

Sully: I not happy about this.

Polly: This seems stupid.

Wally: I am not really clear what we are voting on.

Olly: All you need to know is that if we vote we will all get five who bars of chocolate.

Molly: Each?

Polly: Who is giving us the chocolate.

Olly: Well if we don’t have to share with Sully, he can give us his chocolate.

Wally: That doesn’t make sense.

Sully: I don’t have any chocolate.

Olly: Yes. And a ride on a unicorn.

Wally: Oh my god, I love unicorns.

Polly: Unicorns don’t exist, Wally. Olly is telling pork pies again.

Molly: Olly has pork pies?

Sully: No, Polly means Olly is telling lies.

Molly: Enough. I’m bored and I want to go back to bouncing. Put your hands up if you like Sully.

 

Wally, Sully and Polly put their hands up.

 

Molly: Put your hands up if you don’t like Sully?

 

Olly, Molly and Polly put their hands up.

 

Wally: No fair. Polly voted twice.

Polly: I wasn’t sure. Sometimes I like Sully, sometimes he’s a smelly bum-bum.

Wally: That’s mean.

Polly: I’m telling the truth.

Olly: Either way, Polly had more fingers in the air, so we all agree that we don’t like Sully.

Molly: I think 3 of us like Sully, 3 of us don’t.

Wally: But there’s only 5 of us-

Olly: And Sully can’t vote for himself, so we all agree we don’t like Sully. Let’s kick him off the bouncy castle.

 

The win.

 

Olly tries to pick Sully up.

 

Sully: Put me down.

Olly: Why are you so heavy.

Sully: Because I’m nearly seven.

Olly: Help me throw him off.

Polly: I didn’t agree to that.

Molly: Yes you did, that’s what we always meant.

Polly: I just said I don’t always like Sully.

Wally: We don’t have to do what Olly says.

Molly: We voted. So we need to get rid of Sully.

Wally: But we haven’t agreed if he can still play with us.

Molly: And will his mummy still take me home to my granma? I’m too little to drive myself and I have terribly short legs for walking.

Olly: Molly, grab a leg.

 

Molly tries to grab one of Sully’s legs.

 

Wally: I am going to stay here with my friend. Sully!

 

Wally grabs hold of Sully and they cling to each other.

 

Wally: We shall not be moved from this boucy castle. If you want to throw Sully off, you have to throw me off too.

Olly: I am fine with that.

Molly: But I like Wally. Wally’s my boyfriend.

Wally: No I am not. I would never be a boyfriend to an ugly girl who threw people off bouncy castles.

Polly: This is terrible.

Wally: You voted Sully off the castle, Polly.

Polly: I wasn’t really paying attention. I was thinking about when we flushed the hamster down the toilet.

Molly: That was a bad day.

Sully: This is worse.

Molly: Worse than a toilet hamster?

Wally: Worse than a toilet of toilet hamsters.

Polly: That’s like really bad.

Wally: So I think we should let Sully on the bouncy castle for ten minutes and then we all get jelly.

Molly: I can’t eat jelly. It makes my head swell up.

Wally: You can have ice cream.

Molly: That makes me poo funny.

Polly: Ewwwwww. Funny like a really funny clown?

Molly: No, funny like runny porridge.

Polly: Is porridge funny?

Olly: Absolutely not. No Sully. And no funny porridge. Was all said.

Sully: We didn’t vote on porridge.

Olly: No, but I am the leader and I am voting on porridge on your behalf and I say no porridge.

Molly: Here are all the reasons we should definitely get rid of Sully. He has weird hair. He writes with his left hand. He pee’d himself in school.

Sully: Once. I was four. It was ages ago.

Wally: But I think we should keep him. He always has cool toys. He likes cartoons and he’s super clever. The teacher has given him three gold stars this term.

Sully: Four!

Molly: Sully is a show-off.

Polly: And nobody likes a show-off.

Olly: There’s only one way to fix this. Scissors paper stone. I as leader will play Sully to decide Sully’s fate.

Polly: That seems fair.

Wally: I don’t know.

Sully: Step aside. I have all the scissors.

Olly: Best of three.

Sully: Ok.

 

Sully and Olly face each other. The others gather round.

 

All: One, two, three, go.

 

Olly does scissors, Sully goes stone. Sully wins.

 

Molly: Noooooo.

Olly: Dammit.

Polly: Olly don’t swear.

Olly: Sorry, Polly.

Wally: Again.

All: One, two, three.

Olly goes stone. Sully goes paper.

 

Wally: Sully wins.

Molly: No, it was the best of three and that was rubbish.

Olly: One more.

Molly / Olly: One more. One more.

Sully: Ok. You suck.

 

Olly and Sully square off again.

 

All: One, two, three, go.

 

Sully goes stone. Olly pauses slightly.

 

Olly: Paper! I win. I win.

Wally: You cheated, but Sully won anyway.

Molly: No, that was definitely the best of three. Don’t you agree, Polly?

Polly: What?

Molly: Say yes and I will give you my pink shiny ring.

Polly: Yes!

Wally: Polly?!

Polly: It’s so pink and shiny though, Wally.

Wally: Traitor!

Olly: So I win.

 

The Bounxit.

 

Olly: So we have all agreed now that Sully is rubbish.

Polly: Only when he does a bottom pop and jumps too high.

Wally: Sully’s great, aren’t you Sully?

Sully: Yes. I’m awesome. It’s on my t-shirt.

Olly: But now he has to go. Bye bye Sully.

Sully: Make me.

Molly: We will bounce him off.

 

Olly and Molly start bouncing. The others try to stand but Molly and Olly are throwing themselves all over the bouncy castle so no one else can join in.

 

Polly: Ow, Olly, you bounced on my finger.

Wally: You mustn’t bounce on people’s fingers, Olly.

Olly: I don’t care, we are going to bounce Sully off.

Molly: Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce.

 

Sully pulls himself up.

 

Sully: No Olly. Bullies shouldn’t win. I will bounce you off.

 

Sully tries to bounce as well. Polly and Wally look on horrified. Sully, Molly and Olly are all having a bounce off, but Sully is clearly getting tired. Finally, after a long fight, Sully falls off the edge of the bouncy castle.

 

Sully: Ow.

Olly: Sully gone!

Molly: Hooray.

Wally: Sully!

Polly: Are you ok?

Sully: Yeah fine.

 

Sully sits up and turns around, so his back is to the bouncy castle.

 

Wally: I’m sure you can come back and bounce in a minute.

Sully: I don’t want to bounce any more.

Polly: Look Olly, see what you did? You made Sully sad.

Olly: Who cares? Sully sucks.

Wally: I care. Sully is my bestest friend.

Olly: Only babies have bestest friends.

Polly: I don’t think babies have any friends cos their babies.

Olly: Shut up, Polly.

Molly: So where is my chocolate?

Olly: There is no chocolate, porridge pooper!

Polly: And where’s my ring?

Molly: I lost it. Like three days ago.

Polly: You didn’t.

Molly: I did.

Polly: It’s on your finger.

Molly: Well you can’t have my ring, until I get my chocolate.

Olly: There is no chocolate.

Polly: You’re a liar.

Molly: He’s a liar.

Wally: Let’s just do some bouncing.

Polly / Olly / Molly: No!

 

They all push Wally so he falls over. He bounces back up and pushed Olly. Olly accidentally pushed Wally into Molly. Suddenly they are in a full-scale bounce fight!

 

Deflation.

 

All the kids are fighting on the bouncy castle, apart from Sully who is sitting on the grass looking a sad. As they fight, there is a slight popping noise. Slowly the bouncy castle begins to deflate around the children, until it has folded in on top of them. Their shouts can be heard from inside and they are still arguing and blaming each other.

 

Sully stands up and looks at the deflated bouncy castle. He sighs deeply.

 

Sully: That’s a shame. I really liked bouncing all together. Oh, well.

Adult voice off: Sully, home time.

Sully: I’m coming.

 

Sully skips off.

Lights fade as the remaining children crawl out the deflated castle.

Blackout.

 

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