Ok, it’s not in the list of things in my evil plan but I feel it’s important for a potential evil dictator such as myself to have a fully rounded skill set. Last year I learnt how to poach an egg. This year I have attempted to flip pancakes. Yep, actually confidentially flip them. I even filmed my first attempt.

Please note that I am still working on the outward persona of evilness. While have the internals (the dislike of people, vanity and total conviction that I am right about everything) I don’t yet have epillettes or a suitable hat. Instead, you will see my current disguise as mild-mannered disheveled advertising minion. No one would know I was actually evil…

P.S. please remember your contributions to The Little Black Book of Evil Plans. Hit me. Not literally please. My nose is still recovering from being bumped by a bus.