I miss the idea of you As late night Uptight I dodge beggars And street vendors Ignoring drunk calls From Maccy Ds And late night openings The train departs Missing the me-u-topia Wool-wrapped welcomed entrapment Of cigarettes and cultural vignettes Verbatim debated Over red wine and fantasy Most of all I miss the haze Of…

So instead of the big New Years resolution malarkey, I have decided to set “micro-rezes” instead. A suitably abbreviated name for a suitably abbreviated ambition. Think of these like evil plans, minimised. First of the batch of rezes is as follows: 1) stop smoking before 11am. In order to achieve this, stop buying cigarettes. This…

Dear humans I would like to date One day even find a mate Like a prairie vole (No, not small and hairy – I mean for life – yep, I know; scary.) But there’s things in life I cannot do Even, oh-perfect-one, for you: I won’t make your life better – just augment what’s great…

It’s not often I stick my head above the dating parapet. The combination of failing digestive system (already sexy), mean work hours and just not giving a fork aren’t date friendly. No one likes to be told, when they’ve asked you out on a date that you can manage a date in November 2020. Which…

Hello friends!   I was going to celebrate my half birthday and guffed the dates completely, so going to celebrate the end of summer instead. At the Barbican Centre on Silk Street from 3pm on Sunday 1st October. If the weather is nice, we can be outdoors by the… water feature. If horrible we can…

So, another day… another weird task… This time for the awesome global scavenger hunt GISHWHES. I decided to take a stab at this item: THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! Let’s see a (SFW) 2,000 word essay published on twitter in 140 character bursts. (no attachments,…

Been reading a lot of poetry, especially Spanglish translations. The net result of this is that had my normal mental reflux and it sounds horribly familiar; but no idea where from. Dagnammit brain: The day time stopped People danced in the street Celebrating its passing Stopping all the clocks With trembling fingers And righteous hammers…

Life tastes good Lipsmackin’, thirstquenchin’, acetastin’, motivatin’, goodbuzzin’, cooltalkin’, highwalkin’, fastlivin’, evergivin’, coolfizzin’ Impossible is nothing Think different Reach out and touch your flexible friend The ultimate “I’m lovin it” And all because the lady loves I’d walk a mile for Probably the best lager in the world Please don’t squeeze the chairman The antidote…

I used the terms ‘shit-biscuit’ and ‘fuck a duck’ a lot in my formative year. In the same but opposite way as I tend to say that everything is ‘awesome’ now*. In my short stint in teaching, I worked these expletives down to single innocuous expressions. Regularly you’d hear me shout ‘duck’ as a child…

I never knew that marriage would be so lonely. When I calculated how many years there would be, I never included division in my sums. Logic has so little to do with the equation. In the early days, I was always squaring triangles. The contrivance of any relationship – what the world reads; what you…